Making Love Everyday

 holding_hands.jpg Holding hands picture by dhonray_015

When you see the title of this post your first thought is probably either one of two things; “Wow, what a great idea!” or “Is he crazy?!”  So, before I go any further, I should probably clarify what I mean by making love everyday.  When I use this phrase, I am actually not referring specifically to having sex, although sex is definitely part of it.  What I am really referring to is our need to create love everyday. 

Allow me to give a bit of background.  I have always been amused by the terminology we use for love as opposed to sex.  When we have sex, we refer to it as “making love”; “making” being a word that implies deliberate action.  But when we are talking about love we use the phrase “falling in love,”  as if loving and being loved were some kind of accident.  When I hear this phrase I get the image of someone strolling down the street, tripping over a crack in the sidewalk, doing a complete face-plant, then jumping up to find someone in front of them and saying, “I’m in love!”  Love, true love, not infatuation, requires a great deal more action than our terminology would imply.  In truth, we fall in love only when someone else makes us feel special.  This occurs through acts of service, speaking kindly, spending time together, physical contact, and through expressing admiration.  All of which take a great deal of action and attention to complete. 

Now I come to the real point of this post.  We do all of this work to “fall” in love, but what about staying in love?  To me, it only makes sense that if you are not doing the things that caused you to fall in love to begin with, then you cannot expect to stay in love.  It would be like filling your car up with gas once, then expecting it to run forever without continuing to refuel it.  Making love must be a daily event.  This is not something you do only on special occasions, or even on a weekly basis.  It must be done daily.  Consider how your spouse would have felt when you were dating if you only did the things you do now to show that you cared.  Do you think they would have been pounding on your door begging to know when they could sign up for life with you?  If your answer is no, then you are reading this post at the right time. 

I will be writing a great deal more on the specifics on how to make love in the most effective way in future posts.  For now, start by considering what you did when you were dating that was most significant for you and your spouse.  See what you can do to start implementing those little things daily in your life.  As part of this, do not overlook the importance of consistent weekly dating.   And I’m not talking about a date where you go grocery shopping, zone out to a movie, or spend the whole time talking about budgets, schedules, and kids.  Remember, these were not the activities that caused you to fall in love to begin with and they won’t keep you in love.  No, I’m talking about dates where you can interact and have good old-fashioned fun.  Try these things out and see what a difference it can make in bringing the spark back into your relationship.  You might be amazed what making love everyday can do!

Copyright 2009 by Matt Wilson

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Published in: on February 23, 2009 at 9:46 pm  Comments (3)  
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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I’ve enjoyed reading your posts. Your marriage blog is a great idea. Sooo many people need this information. Marriage takes work. I think a lot of people are only committed for the good times. Keep up the good work! Anita

    • Thanks Anita. I’m just now getting started in the whole blogging world. I really appreciate your encouragement. I’ll be adding in more posts as often as I can. I hope you will find them to be helpful.

      Matt

  2. I have really loved what you have said about marriage. People really need to here this. I love the tage line “Making Love Everyday”. This really captures a persons attention. I look forward to reading more.


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